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"You become what you believe."

— Mark Patterson, @Expherience (via kushandwizdom)

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ifiwereamonologuewriter:

August 16th and 17th:
So here’s what happened this week:
A Texas man went to Disney World and proposed to five Disney princesses. The mormons have really stepped up their budget. I think TLC has a new show: Princess-wives.
This is a cute story, a husband discovers his wife in a preschool picture taken 17 years before they met. 


She’s the pink genie and he’s the superman in the front. The couple immediately posted it to Instagram without even using a vintage filter… wha?? Okay that was bad. I wonder if Raggedy Ann found love? Now that is one freaky-ass costume. 
A Texas mom created an app that makes it impossible for kids to ignore their parents’ texts.Anthony Wiener was all like, “hey, does this work for sexting… er, I mean for my texting too?”

A New York woman was charged with stealing 800 Lego sets worth almost $60,000 and trying to sell them on eBay. 
Maybe she was trying to supply the sequel.


A Texas woman allegedly stole a bottle of $3.99 wine to get arrested and see her jailed boyfriend. But by the time she got there he was already taken. 


Leader of Die Linke - Germany’s largest opposition party, Katja Kipping, says a summer vacation should be enjoyed by everyone. She’s even calling for households on benefits to receive almost $700 dollars in government funded vouchers to spend on a summer vacation.To which, every single millennial immigrated to Germany.

And lastly, ex-playmate Kendra Wilkinson flushed her wedding ring down the toilet after finding out that her husband, Hank Bassett cheated on her with a transsexual model.
The goods news is Hank has help searching both the men and women’s bathrooms.

ifiwereamonologuewriter:

August 16th and 17th:

So here’s what happened this week:

A Texas man went to Disney World and proposed to five Disney princesses. The mormons have really stepped up their budget. I think TLC has a new show: Princess-wives.

This is a cute story, a husband discovers his wife in a preschool picture taken 17 years before they met. 

She’s the pink genie and he’s the superman in the front. The couple immediately posted it to Instagram without even using a vintage filter… wha?? Okay that was bad. I wonder if Raggedy Ann found love? Now that is one freaky-ass costume. 

A Texas mom created an app that makes it impossible for kids to ignore their parents’ texts.

Anthony Wiener was all like, “hey, does this work for sexting… er, I mean for my texting too?”

A New York woman was charged with stealing 800 Lego sets worth almost $60,000 and trying to sell them on eBay. 

Maybe she was trying to supply the sequel.

A Texas woman allegedly stole a bottle of $3.99 wine to get arrested and see her jailed boyfriend. But by the time she got there he was already taken. 

Leader of Die Linke - Germany’s largest opposition party, Katja Kipping, says a summer vacation should be enjoyed by everyone. She’s even calling for households on benefits to receive almost $700 dollars in government funded vouchers to spend on a summer vacation.

To which, every single millennial immigrated to Germany.

And lastly, ex-playmate Kendra Wilkinson flushed her wedding ring down the toilet after finding out that her husband, Hank Bassett cheated on her with a transsexual model.


The goods news is Hank has help searching both the men and women’s bathrooms.

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peoplemag:

One time Ms. Norbury and Cady Heron took a selfie together …  it was AWESOME.
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🙏

🙏

(Source: davidroads)

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I want this.

I want this.

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Thanks for making me feel better, universe!

Thanks for making me feel better, universe!

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Remember this feeling when you leave this place.

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"Yes, this is dog." FaceTime edition.

"Yes, this is dog." FaceTime edition.

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🙈🙉🙊

🙈🙉🙊

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lunar-glow:

Dave Franco & Conan O’Brien’s Tinder profiles

lunar-glow:

Dave Franco & Conan O’Brien’s Tinder profiles

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"When all else fails, there’s always delusion."

— Conan O’Brien (via observando)

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(Source: michaelsocha)