What up gang! Here’s what made headlines this weekend:
This weekend was all about Kanye. On Friday, the Louie Vuitton Don, debuted his new song and video for “New Slaves” on 66 buildings across the globe. He pretty much Wizard of Oz’ed us, guys!
If you haven’t seen it, climb out from under your rock, and bask in it, man, click on the video above.
Ye also announced that on June 18th he will be releasing his sixth studio album called “Yeezus”. Yep, that’s right “Yeezus.” Mexicans all around the world rejoiced, they can finally pronounce a ‘J-name’ properly.
Keepin’ with the ROC family theme, Beyonce is reportedly pregnant with baby number two! I heard Jay-Z might name it ‘Blueprint four’. It is likely that Jay-Z and Beyonce will probably name Kanye West as the “Godfather” of the children. To which Kanye replied, “Sorry, I stopped listening after you said I was God.”
In other celebrity news, Justin Bieber owes thousands of dollars for his pet monkey’s, Mally, two-month stay at an animal shelter since it was seized by German customs. Justin has failed to reach out to the German authorities but experts say capuchin monkeys also need to be kept in groups as they are very sociable animals. A German animal expert said, “the best thing would be not to buy one at all, but if you do, buy five.”
Yeah, the kid can’t take care of one monkey, so logically, give him five! The sentence should have ended at “the best thing would be not to buy one at all.” David Hasselholff’s music has messed up your brain, Germany. No word on how JB’s music has affected the monkey’s brain.
And finally, Complex magazine is reporting that Ke$ha wants to have sex with more ghosts. See, people? Celebrities are just like us, with all the blasphemy, and the monkeys, and the ghost-fucking… ok, maybe they’re better than us. Ke$ha seems to be having a lovely social life.
Speaking of having a love life, in Germany, media artists have created two robots programmed to react to one another. Sometimes they totally love each other. Occasionally, they can’t stand each other. And, just like humans, the robotic pair reacts to others around them. Their names are Emily and Vincent. The robots communicate through loudspeakers and motors. Apparently “disagreement is preprogrammed.” That means that, if Vincent sends positive signals to Emily by moving up and down, she might interpret them as negative and move away. But what’s even more surprising is that most of their fights stem from Vincent leaving the toilet seat up!!!
In international news, China and India are disputing property lines over the Indian Ocean, tensions are escalating further and now they are fighting over the Himalayan mountains. Nothing says “neighbors” more than fighting over the property lines. Maybe someone should translate “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” for these two.
Back here in Canada, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has been accused of smoking crack this week. Ford doesn’t have the best image in the public eye which includes: being a racist, insensitive and all-around ignorant. The Toronto Star reports that Ford can be seen smoking crack and taking jabs at Liberal leader Justin Trudeau. I mean, I get that you want the younger vote and support but do something more relatable like join Twitter or talk about Ninja Turtles or something instead.
With sales of more than half a billion, the Doritos Locos Taco is one of Taco Bell’s most successful creations but earlier this week, a federal prison inmate filed a lawsuit against Taco Bell claiming that they stole his idea for the delicious Taco. Gary Cole, the prisoner, wrote a 35-page handwritten complaint, stating that he wants Taco Bell to provide him with documents about the invention of the Doritos Locos Taco, which he says will prove that he is the true creator. Yeah, right. I also need the recipe of Coca Cola because I, too, ummm, invented that. So go ahead and give them up too, eh?
A 19 year-old college student faked his own kidnapping to distract his parents from twice failing his Georgia Gwinnett College English class. The scheme was very elaborate, he bought a prepaid phone from Target and threatened his parents as the kidnapper, saying he was in a field, The cops were unable to locate the kidnapped-kidnapper, who allegedly lived in a tent in an open field for eight days. When the weather became cold and wet, the student returned home telling his parents he had been drugged and held captive. The student is now facing multiple felony charges— can you imagine how great his grades would be, if he used all this energy into studying for English?!?!?
A recent study reveals that a faceless, mouthless worms, known as the Osedax, found in the ocean, enjoys making love inside decomposing whale skeletons.The weirdness doesn’t stop there. Researchers have figured out that the males’ sole purpose is to be sperm providers. But scientists still don’t know exactly how these worms developed and reproduced. The female worms can be up to 50 to 100 times larger than the males, and the males can live inside the female in one of nature’s most bizarre harems.
Well, that gives a new meaning to a “boner.” All the Real Housewives were like, “wait, ONLY sperm providers, can we buy stuff with sperm?”
I love archaeological stories, this one did not disappoint, a university professor was thumbing through a 15th century medieval manuscript from Croatia, the professor discovered pages of the book stained with the inky paw prints of a cat.
Here is an artist’s rendition of the cat: